Not live yet · Launching on ULT · Cronos

CROJAK

He bought the top. He never sold.

In 2021 he went all in on CRO at $0.97. Five years later he's still in the same hoodie, still holding, still down. He never sold — and he never stopped wanting to make it. So he stopped waiting for a green candle and built one. $CROJAK is for everyone still underwater.

Cope with us See exactly what he holds
Contract TBA — dropping at launch on ULT
CROJAK — a wojak in a navy Cronos hoodie and cap
year five, still holding
1BTotal supply
10%Dev bought at launch
5%Back to holders
0 / 0Buy / sell tax

Chapter 01

Five years of
holding the bag.

He bought CRO at ninety-seven cents because the ad was on during the Super Bowl and everyone said it was only the beginning. It was the top. It has never been the top again.

He didn't sell at -50%. He didn't sell at -95%. He went to work, came home, opened the app, closed the app, and did it again for five years. The hoodie is faded now. The conviction isn't.

But holding isn't a plan. CROJAK still wants to make it — properly, once, in this lifetime. So he stopped waiting for someone else to build the thing that gets him there and launched it himself.

No presale. No private round. He bought his bag on the same curve as you, in the same block, and published every sell before the chart ever existed.

/biz/ — anonymous — cronos general

> be me

> 2021, CRO prints 0.97

> "this is only the beginning"

> go all in at the exact top

> 2022: down 95%

> 2023: still holding

> 2024: still holding

> 2025: still holding

> five years of my life in one red candle

> still want to make it

> fine. i'll build it myself

> it's over

Chapter 02

The Faces

Every one of them is a day he actually had.

Flip the switch up top to see the other timeline.

CROJAK crying on a couch with a laptop
2 AMthe candle hasn't moved in four years.
CROJAK drinking coffee in a burning kitchen with a red chart
This Is Fineportfolio's on fire. coffee's still warm.
CROJAK driving at dusk
The Commutedown 95%, still clocking in.
CROJAK sweating over two buttons: Hodl and DCA one more time
The Decisionhe presses the same one every time.
CROJAK alone at a party thinking they don't know he is a CRO millionaire
The Partythey don't know. he doesn't either.
CROJAK offering two pills
The Choicehe took the blue one. he'd do it again.
CROJAK knotting a tie in a grey room
Mondaythe tie does not help.
CROJAK smiling with a drink at a party
Finallyfirst real smile since 2021.
CROJAK holding a phone with a green chart at sunset
Greenhe checked it twice. it's real.
CROJAK throwing money in the air on a yacht
The Boathe told everyone. nobody listened.
CROJAK with sunglasses and a drink on a boat
Earnedfive years of waiting. one good afternoon.
CROJAK relaxing in a deck chair on a beach
Retiredthe hoodie stays on. obviously.
CROJAK standing arms wide on the bow of a ship at sunset
King of the World0.97 was the warm-up.

Right-click, save, post. That's the entire marketing department.

Chapter 03

The 10%

CROJAK bought 10% of the supply at launch — on the same curve as everyone else, no presale, no discount. Here is exactly what happens to all of it.

5% His own bag

One wallet. Published below. Every sell written down before launch.

5% Back to holders

Given away at random to people who hold $CROJAK and show up on X.

The dev wallet

Watch it yourself. Nothing leaves it that isn't on the schedule below.

5% of supply · 50,000,000 $CROJAK
Wallet 0x454b5cccE1945748e7426D831F78eE2009CB7a29

The sell schedule

He is going to sell. He's been broke for five years and he's not going to pretend otherwise. But not in chunks and not on a level — each slice gets sold gradually across its whole range, so there is never a single candle with his name on it. Here is the entire plan, up front, before you buy a token.

  1. $0 – $500K 1%
  2. $500K – $1M 1%
  3. $1M – $2.5M 1%
  4. $2.5M – $10M 1%
  5. $10M+ 0.5%
  6. Moonbag 0.5%

Total: 5%, sold gradually from $0 to $10M+ and beyond. No cliffs, no single dump, nothing held back for a surprise. The last half percent never gets sold at all — if this thing makes it, he's riding it the same way he rode CRO.

The other 5% is yours

CROJAK spent five years getting nothing for holding. The other half of his bag exists so that doesn't happen here.

  • Hold $CROJAK. That's the only requirement that matters.
  • Show up on X. Post, reply, meme, quote. Be part of it.
  • Get randomly sent tokens. No form, no claim page, no snapshot you have to register for. He just sends them.

CROJAK will never DM you first, never ask for your seed phrase, and never ask you to connect a wallet to claim. Anyone doing that is not him.

CROJAK at a party

Chapter 04

Tokenomics

The rest of it fits on one line each.

1,000,000,000 Total supply

Fixed at launch. No mint function, no "strategic expansion".

0% Tax

Nothing on buys, nothing on sells. Not a revenue stream.

90% The market

Everything outside his 10% is just the curve. First come, same price.

ULT Liquidity

Handled by the launchpad. Bonding curve first, then DEX.

Chapter 05

The Five Stages

He's already been through them once. This time with company.

  1. 01

    Denial

    Launch on ULT. Fair launch, no presale, no whitelist. CROJAK buys his 10% on the same curve, in the same minute, at the same price as you.

    Now
  2. 02

    Anger

    The chart does chart things. Someone calls it a rug in the replies. The wallet is public, the schedule is published, and nothing moves off it.

    Next
  3. 03

    Bargaining

    DexScreener, CoinGecko, CMC. The first random drops land in holder wallets. People start posting their own CROJAKs.

    Soon
  4. 04

    Acceptance

    CROJAK becomes the face every Cronos holder recognises. The hoodie stops being a joke and starts being a uniform.

    Later
  5. 05

    It's Over

    Nothing happens. CROJAK goes back to the couch, opens the app, closes the app. Year six begins exactly like year five.

    ???

Chapter 06

How to buy

$CROJAK launches on ULT, the Cronos launchpad. Nothing is live yet — don't buy anything calling itself CROJAK before we post the contract.

1

Get a Cronos wallet

Crypto.com Onchain, MetaMask or Rabby, set to chain ID 25

2

Fund it with CRO

Buy CRO and withdraw to your wallet on the Cronos network. Keep a little spare for gas.

3

Open ULT

Connect your wallet, find CROJAK, and check the contract against this site and our X before you click.

4

Hold, and show up

Buy, then post. Holders who are actually around on X are the ones the 5% goes to.

Launch on ULT — coming soon

Always verify the contract address. We will only ever post it here and on our official X.

Chapter 07

Questions you already know the answer to

How much does the dev hold?

10% bought at launch, split in half. 5% is his, in one public wallet, with every sell published on this page before launch. The other 5% goes back out to holders at random. Nothing was given to him — he paid the same price you did.

So he's going to sell on me?

Yes, and he said so before you bought — gradually, never in one go. 1% spread across $0–$500K, 1% across $500K–$1M, 1% across $1M–$2.5M, 1% across $2.5M–$10M, 0.5% gradually above $10M, and a final 0.5% he never sells. A dev who promises he'll never sell is lying; this one published the wallet and the schedule before launch.

How do I get the free CROJAK?

Hold $CROJAK and be active on X — post, reply, meme. Drops are random and sent directly to wallets. There is no form, no claim page and no snapshot to sign up for. If a site asks you to connect a wallet to claim CROJAK, it's a scam.

Is this financial advice?

It's a drawing of a sad man in a hoodie. $CROJAK has no utility and no promise of return. Buy it because it's funny and because it's true. Never put in more than you'd lose on a bad Friday.

What is ULT?

The launchpad on Cronos we're launching through. Fair launch mechanics — everyone buys from the same curve at the same time, the dev included.

Is there a presale?

No. No presale, no whitelist, no private round, no "strategic partners". If someone offers you an early allocation, it's a scam.

Will CRO hit $0.97 again?

No.

Can I use the art?

Please do. Save it, remix it, post it, print it on a hoodie. The memes belong to whoever is holding.

Nothing ever happens.

And yet here you are, reading a meme coin website at 2am. Same as him.

Get $CROJAK